Henchmen, Lackeys, and Minions
by Scovall
Summary: Cargument where Danny explains to Steve the finer points of criminal organization.  One-shot


_This is just an idea that came to me while I was re-watching the premier. I hope that you enjoy it._

_Disclaimer: Not my characters. They belong to CBS._

So far, their current case had been difficult, frustrating, and exhausting, making it a standard investigation for Five-0. At the moment, Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett and his partner Detective Danny Williams were on their way to check out the latest lead that their teammates Kono Kalakaua and Chin Ho Kelly had turned up.

"When we get to the warehouse, we need to determine if Maxwell's minions are using it to distribute the meth," Steve made a left turn through a yellow light, forcing Danny to grab the handle above the passenger door to steady himself.

"They're lackeys, not minions," Danny ground out between clenched teeth.

"We'll circle the building on foot, looking for –" It took a minute for Danny's last comment to sink in, "What did you say about lackeys and minions?"

"These guys that we're looking for, they're lackeys. You said minions, but that's wrong."

Steve's eyebrows went up, "You're saying that I'm wrong?"

"Yes, you are wrong," Danny's hands were beginning to wave, "There is a hierarchy to these things: Boss, bodyguards, henchmen, lackeys, minions."

"You just made that up, right now," Steve accused.

"I absolutely did not."

"Then what's the difference between them? Explain it?" Steve challenged.

Danny was indignant, "You don't think I can explain it? Well you are wrong, again. I'll start at the top. In this particular scenario, Maxwell is the Boss. He's at the top of the organization."

Steve snorted, "That's obvious. You're stalling so that you have time to make up the rest."

"I'm stalling? You are accusing me of stalling!" The hand waving was in danger of becoming too large for the inside of the Camaro.

"Well, if you're not then please, go on."

"Fine. The Boss is protected by bodyguards. They are his most trusted men, the ones that stay loyal no matter what. Then come the henchmen, they're the foot soldiers. They're the guys that shoot at us until things go badly, and then they surrender or run away." Danny paused to look over at Steve, "Hey! Eyes on the road! Don't look at me!"

"I am watching the road," Steve sounded put upon, "You worry too much about my driving. Now, please continue, I'm fascinated by your explanation."

Danny snuck a glance to make sure that Steve was really watching the road before resuming his explanation, "These guys that we're looking for, they're lackeys. They do the actual work, like selling drugs or running clubs or being accountants. They aren't tuff enough to be henchmen. They mostly run away when things get hairy."

"And that's different from a minion how?" Steve wanted to know.

"Minions are the informants, snitches, and spies," Danny's tone implied that all of this was obvious and Steve was a moron for needing it spelled out, "They're cowards and they flee like rats from a sinking ship at the first sign of trouble." He paused to consider for a minute, "Of course you have to be careful because, once in awhile, they'll stab you in the back when you aren't paying attention."

Now it was Steve's turn to consider for a moment. Suddenly, his mouth stretched into a smirk that made Danny's back stiffen even before he spoke, "So that means that I'm the Boss and you, Chin, and Kono are my bodyguards right? HPD would be my henchmen," Steve was becoming more enthusiastic as he went, "Jenna, Max, even Catherine are my lackeys. Kamekona is my minion."

"NO! No, no, and no!" Danny sounded horrified, "This structure is for the BAD GUYS. We are not the bad guys. We are the good guys, the heroes, if you will."

"Then I don't have henchmen, lackeys, and minions?" Steve sounded disappointed. "What do I have instead?" Steve brightened up again, "Do I have sidekicks?"

"_I am not a sidekick, Steven_." Danny's tone make the temperature in the car drop a few degrees.

"That's too bad. You'd be maybe the best sidekick ever."

"Thank you? I think that may have been intended as a compliment, in your socially stunted way," Danny sighed and looked over at his partner fondly, "Do you want to know what you have? You have Ohana."

"And that is better than anything else," Steve smiled as they pulled up to the warehouse. Getting out of the car, he looked at Danny across the hood, "But I still think you make a great sidekick."

Danny's reply was lost as the first of the henchmen opened fire on them.


End file.
